The 12 and a Half Minute Martini

Because all good things take time.

Step 1: Pour a 6 count of SlapTail or WebFoot vodka into a shaker with ice, cover with strainer lid.
Step 2: Shove the closed shaker into a well of ice and furiously spin it for 2 minutes.
Step 3: Bury the closed shaker under as much ice as possible. Let it sit in the well for 10 and half minutes while spraying cold club soda over the ice every few minutes.
Step 4: Pour a half count of vermouth into an absolutely ice cold Martini glass. Swirl the vermouth around the glass 3 times and discard.
Step 5: Place 3-7 cocktail olives, on a pick, into the ice cold, Vermouthy Martini glass.
Step 6: Pull the strainer of delicious booze out of the ice well. If done properly the ice will stick to the strainer like a tongue to a signpost on Christmas. Pour the smooth vodka delicacy over the olives.

Lick your lips, smell the aromas, take your first sip of pure heaven.